Argument

"In an argument the best weapon to hold is your tongue."
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"A woman came to a holy man and complained,"Master, I cannot take it any more! Every day there is an argument in the house and my husband end up beating me severely. You have got to help me!"

The holy man asked for a bottle of water; he blessed it and gave it to the woman.
"When do I give this water to my husband to drink?" asked the woman.

"The water is not for your husband," said the holy man."Whenever you find that an argument has started, take a sip of water from the bottle, and hold it in your mouth.
In doing so, you will not be able to answer back. There will be no argument and no beating to follow!'
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26 comments:

  1. silence is the hardest argument to refute.
    that indeed is true
    but doesnt silence speak of dead emotions too?
    and if we were all to remain silent then whats the use of being with those u love?
    its like being in a room full of noises
    or like being in a dead cell, isnt it.
    although i do agree that where the argument is a road to nowhere-we should just end it with our silence, but then such arguments and recurring ones mean a dead end road-while ur walking on a dead end road, isnt it better to let those who hurt u know that ur being hurt. so that once u've done away with the relationship u dont have too much stored up inside?
    so i guess i like the option of weighing each word before i speak than to not speak at all in an argument.
    what do u say?

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  2. So truly said. Why cannot we be silent in an argument and want to express ourselves so much?

    Sorry for not visiting your blog Surjit. I have lost all my blogs. And it is teaching me a lesson to bee cool and calm. You cannot do anything about it even after you have done everything you can.

    My best wishes.

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  3. Yes I agree with you that situation varies and we should exercise:
    ....'the option of weighing each word before i speak than to not speak at all in an argument..
    Thanks Poison Coated Elixir, for adding your valuable views to my post.
    Best wishes.

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  4. Thanks Mahesha, for sharing your meaningful thoughts.
    How will you retrieve your blog now?
    Best wishes.

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  5. I like this quote: "In an argument the best weapon to hold is your tongue."

    Indeed, the best answer to anger is silence.

    Thanks Surjit!

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  6. I am glad Sam,you have liked my post.
    Thanks for sharing your views.Good luck.

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  7. Hi Surjit...

    While I very much agree with the essence of the thought, as a therapist spending much of my career working with abusive men and survivors of abuse, I have to say that men who abuse women do so even when there is silence. In fact sometimes the silence almost spurs on violence.

    I strong believe that abuse is about the abuser and not about the victim... and there is no excuse for harming another.

    While we all can work toward peace and there is value in doing all we can to stop arguments, men that abuse women should not blame their victim, and women who have been hurt by abuse should not blame themselves.

    There is no excuse for cruelty and violence toward one's wife or husband.

    But.. as I said, the essence of this thought is a valuable one... (smile)

    We can all work toward making our relationships harmoneous, and we can diminish and difuse arguments by holding one's tongue, etc. etc.

    "Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute!" I like this!

    Thanks Surjit,

    Jen

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  8. Bryan BakerJuly 18, 2007

    howdy,
    it's been a while! how've ya been? i had a long recovery but i'm back and reading up on your latest posts. this one interests me b/c 90% of people have difficulty with arguments.

    whether they don't like harsh words, or don't like to hurt others (even if it's for the good). silence is good in many situations b/c it allows the other to vent, and then a calmer reply can take place. man you always stir up such great conversations in my mind! keep it up buddy.

    -bryan

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  9. hi surjit ...we all face arguments with people we love this is normal in life we cant be all the time happy and having fun ....but really uder some situations that u have to be smart using silence the other one u r arguing with will calm down and things will be solved ...really that was one of my mom's advices i didnt use b4 especially with my husband and when i started to be more cool and silent in such arguments he calms down and things change too be better quickly really im happy i followed mom's advice it was so right....thx for that lovely post

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  10. Jennifer, I fully agree with your views:
    .....'There is no excuse for cruelty and violence toward one's wife or husband...
    But most of the time avoiding arguments bring wonders..
    Thanks for sharing your valuable thoughts.My best wishes.

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  11. I am glad Bryan Baker,that you are back.Thanks for sharing your insightful views.
    My best wishes.

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  12. Yes Lilifxt, you are right.Silence does pay during argumens.
    Thanks for adding your meaningful thoughts to my post.
    Good luck.

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  13. Silence and apologies can mend many fences. Depends on the circumstances. I never think beating somone is okay.

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  14. although i have tamed it down quite a bit... i know my mouth has got me beat more times than anything else...

    i am trying to lean the art of silence... but i am not very often left with nothing to say.....

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  15. Loving Annie,I fully agree with your words of wisdom:
    ...'Silence and apologies can mend many fences....'
    Thanks for sharing your purposeful thoughts. Good luck.

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  16. Thanks Piasley, for sharing your experiences.You are a well read person.I am sure you will tread the right path.
    Best wishes.

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  17. This post came at the right time. I just witness an argument in a grocery store yesterday between an old lady & a 30+ woman. They are arguing over the cashier over who should be first in the line. The old lady chose to remain silent after a while. I think she also feel it is useless to arugue with senseless people. I would have done the same. Why arugue over something when knowing that it is going to spoil my day. I want to enjoy life feeling happy. I don't want to fall into the 'trap' & makes myself miserable.

    Thanks for the post :) :)

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  18. Thanks Janice, for sharing a true life incident.
    Best wishes.

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  19. My problem is that I like to have the last word in any argument - which is really bad although I'm trying to change that. Now I notice when I o keep quiet there often is nothing to really extend the argument over!

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  20. Thanks Random Magus, for sharing your personsal experinces.Tolerance does pay in the long run...
    My best wishes.

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  21. Great reasoning there Surjit, although like Jennifer I don't totally agree that women who are abused should just remain silent. They should probably seek help outside and get professionals (like the Police) to protect them from abusive spouses.

    Of course, in the context of relationships in general, it is a wonderful antidote and cure to escalating anger and potential violence. I know for sure that if I do encounter an irrational driver on the roads, I should just smile and grit my teeth. ;)

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  22. Thanks Cool Insider,for sharing your valuable views to my post.
    Best wishes.

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  23. thats something i believe in too...im very submissive...n i dont argue at all.sometimes i feel that im losing out on things for its necessary to argue and fight for ur rights? isnt it?
    thanks for visiting my blog :)

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  24. Hitting and beating (spousal abuse and domestic violence) is never justifiable or OK, no matter what.

    In a healthy relationship both spouses are able to freely express their thoughts and feelings without fear.

    Domestic violence isn't stopped by silence. It's spurred by it.

    Marriage is a partnership. Both spouses should refrain from senseless, petty arguing, shouting and all forms of abusive behaviors. Mutual respect, safety and trust are crucial ingredients in a marriage or any relationship.

    Peace from both spouses is sublime and open dialogue is Divine.

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  25. Thanks Nisha, for sharing your valuable thoughts.Ultimately patience pays...
    My best wishes.

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  26. Motherwintermoon, I fully agree with your words of wisdom:
    ... 'Peace from both spouses is sublime and open dialogue is Divine'....
    Thanks for sharing your views.My best wishes.

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